Work through the section in black and pick out a maximum of three things you think need to be changed. Type your corrections in a comment below, using CAPITALS for your changes, and explain why you think they need to be corrected. Allow at least one other person to post a comment before you look for more alterations.
Remember, there usually isn't only one way to say a thing. You may disagree with others, and that's fine. Just enter your own thoughts--a maximum of three at a time (so that others have a chance too).0
N.B. If you spot something that needs changing in the blue section, you need to go back to the previous posts as they may well have already been picked up. Only cover the black words in this post.
THE UPSIDE-DOWN TREE
Remember, there usually isn't only one way to say a thing. You may disagree with others, and that's fine. Just enter your own thoughts--a maximum of three at a time (so that others have a chance too).0
N.B. If you spot something that needs changing in the blue section, you need to go back to the previous posts as they may well have already been picked up. Only cover the black words in this post.
THE UPSIDE-DOWN TREE
SCRIPTURE
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: . . . they drew Jason and certain brothers before the city judges, crying, These who have turned the world upside down have come here too.
Acts
17:6 (KJV)
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As
I drove along the road through the Limpopo Province of South Africa, I stopped the
car to gaze with my eyes at the mighty baobab tree standing alongside the road.
I knew that in the South African wet rainy season, this tree would give
bountiful shade to both animals and humans alike as well as it would be providing
food, water and shelter. Yet right then, in the dry air of the desert winter,
it had lost all its foliage. It's head and arms appeared to be buried under the
sand. Its spreading branches resembled fibrous roots as they reached out to the
sky above. This had earned it the descriptive nickname, "The Upside-Down
Tree." A number of African legends seek to explain the reason why this big tree appears to grow this way.
Early
Christians were referred in their day as those "who turned the world
upside down" because they made such a noticeable impact on people. I
wonder if that could be said of us Christians today? Do people see us as
different to them? Do we have a noticeable impact on those around us? Or are we
so like everyone else they don't see any difference?
- Early Christians were referred in their day as... Remove 'in their day' - 'early' has already set the period.
ReplyDelete- insert 'to' after referred (referred to as...)
- Train of thought a bit disjointed in the last three sentences. I would take out 'Do people see us as different to them', and tack most of it on to the beginning of the last sentence - 'Do people see us as different, or are we so like...'
On second thoughts, 'in their day' shouldn't come out. It sets the period of the verb 'referred to'. It was people in their day who said they turned the world upside down, not people in our day.
ReplyDeleteWell done Fi! All the issues you refer to have been addressed, although sometimes in a different way. Note also the use of IMPACT twice within the short paragraph.
ReplyDeleteThe published version went as follows: Early Christians were OFTEN referred to as those "who turned the world upside down" because they made such an IMPRESSION on people. I wonder if that could be said of us today. Do we impact those around us--or are we so like everyone else they don't see the difference?